I Promise
by Take-You-For-Granted
Summary: If you wanted honesty, that's all you had to say. I never want to let you down or have you go, it's better off this way... DL oneshot.


**AN: Songfic based on I'm Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance. DL, one shot. ****In this fic, Dana came back at the beginning of their third year at PCA, and Lola's going out with Logan. Everything else is the same.**

Dana had walked away from the group as they were having dinner, for no apparent reason. And for no apparent reason, Logan followed her. He didn't know why – but it probably had something to do with the fact that she hadn't properly talked to him since she found out about Lola. She still acted like the same old Dana, from what he could tell, but he had an annoying unshakable feeling that something was up.

She was almost to her dorm when she realized she was being followed. Turning around, she glared at him, "What do you want, Reese?"

"Dana, I – do you want to talk?" he asked, feeling stupid. He'd followed her on a whim and he was probably wrong, she was probably fine. _Probably._

"Talk?" she crossed her arms over her chest. "What could you and I possibly have to talk about?"

"I don't know, I just - " Now he was really starting to feel stupid and uncomfortable. "How are you?"

She gave him a weak laugh, "How am I? I'm okay. How are you? Are you happy?"

"Honestly?"

She shrugged.

He ran a hand through his hair, then looked at his gel-covered hand in disgust and rubbed it off on his pants. He sighed, "I don't know. Lola's great, but, am I happy? I'm not sure. Now you, answer honestly. You're not okay. I know it," he was back to being cocky, to being so sure of himself.

She rolled her eyes, "Because you'd know. You have no idea how I'm feeling!"

He frowned, "Alright then, tell me."

"Tell you? There's nothing to tell." She looked away from him, her arms still crossed.

"How do you feel about me being with Lola?"

"What makes you think your relationships affect my feelings in any way?" she snapped.

"Because I'm Logan Reese," he smirked. She rolled her eyes again. "Oh, come on Dana. I'm trying here!"

She softened. That's true, he was trying. Maybe she shouldn't freeze him out. Oh, now she was doubting herself. She hated doing that. She never did it until she met him. But still she didn't answer, and he looked disappointed. She sighed. She didn't want to let him down, to disappoint him.

"That's why I asked if you're happy," she murmured finally. "If she makes you happy. Because if she does, then I have no reason to not be fine with you dating her." She paused. "So, does she make you happy?"

"It doesn't matter," Logan replied, after hesitating. "It's better off this way."

"This way?" she asked, annoyed that he hadn't answered her. "As opposed to.. what other way?"

"You know what I mean, Dana," Logan looked away, uncomfortable again.

She frowned, "No, I don't know what you mean, actually."

"There was – there was always something there, right? With you and me. For all the dirty looks, for all the insults, there was a moment of – of... I don't know. But you wanted me, I was sure you did - "

"Logan, you were sure that every girl at PCA wanted you. You still are sure of that. It's going to be a nasty shock when you realize that they don't," she turned and began walking to her dorm. He followed.

"Dana, why do you have to be like this?"

"Like what?" she asked in a distracted tone, not looking at him.

"Like this! Something's wrong, why can't you just tell me?"

They reached her dorm. She turned and faced him. "Nothing's wrong! Absolutely nothing! I told you, I'm okay, now just believe me and leave me alone!" she cried, then opened the door to her building and headed towards her room. Logan counted to five, then followed her.

_Who does he think he is?_ she thought furiously. _I'm okay. I know I'm okay. I'd _be_ okay if he weren't around, with his perfect hair and perfect body and perfect egotistic personality, kissing his perfect little girlfriend and making me want to scream._ She paused. _Maybe I'm not okay. No. No, I am. He's making me doubt myself again. He's wearing me out. I hate him!_

She got to her room, unlocked the door, stomped inside and threw herself down onto Zoey's bed. He appeared in the open doorway and she cursed herself for not locking the door behind her. He came in, closing the door, and sat beside her on Zoey's bed.

"Logan, please," she started. "Quit trying to get me to tell you what I'm thinking, because seriously, it would bore you."

He inhaled deeply, "Dana, I just think that - "

"I don't want to hear it!" she interrupted. "What, you think that everyone who doesn't have a life as perfect as yours must be dying inside? God, Logan, you are so - "

He cut her off gently, "It's not like that. And anyway, I hate to admit it but my life's not perfect."

She scoffed.

"No, really," he insisted.

"Come on, Logan. Now you're just being stupid. How much better could it get for you, seriously? You have daddy's credit card, the perfect girlfriend, and no matter what anyone tells you, you still seem to think you're the most fantastic person alive!"

He looked downwards. "What will it take to show you that it's not the life it seems?"

"I don't care, Logan! Would you just leave me alone? I don't need your help, I'm okay, and even if I wasn't, I can work it out myself."

"But it's always more helpful to talk to someone, I mean, psychology says you can do yourself damage mentally if you - "

She raised her eyebrows, "How many times have I told you not to speak when you have no idea what you're talking about?"

He sighed, annoyed, and stood up. "Fine! I can see you don't want me here - "

"You catch on quick," she muttered.

"Screw you, Dana!" he cried, fed up. "I don't know what I was thinking, trying to be your friend. I'm just going to stick with Lola from now on, she's honest with me and doesn't bottle up her feelings. God, I don't know what I was thinking, she's a million times better than you! She's not a distant, lying bitch!"

There was a long silence as they both processed what he'd said in shock. He couldn't believe that he'd said that, and what was worse was that he didn't mean it at all. And she hated to admit it, even to herself, but he'd shaken her. He'd shaken her so badly that she let her guard down and whispered shakily, "You're right. I am a liar."

He was back beside her on the bed in a flash and he had his arms around her. She turned her face into his chest and breathed shakily. Her whole body was shaking and making him shake as well. "I'm not okay," she whispered, then looked up at him, into his eyes. "I'm not oh fucking kay!" she exclaimed, and, feeling tears prick at her eyes, she let herself cry. She leaned into him and cried and he held her.

She cried and cried, and he rubbed small circles into her back and listened to her mutter, "I'm not okay, I'm not okay..." and he was worried that he'd caused her to have a breakdown or something. He'd never seen her cry before.

He forgot about the dirty looks, the arguments, the insults. He forgot about Lola. He didn't know how long he held her for but finally she looked back up at him and he wiped the tears off her face.

She heaved a heavy sigh, "You wear me out," she whispered, but she was smiling slightly, and he smiled back.

She rested her head on his shoulder, his arms still around her. "How did you know? That I was, well, lying?"

He gave her his old cocky grin, "Because, baby, I can read you like a book," he paused, then frowned, "A book, but the pages are all torn and frayed, I - I guess."

She wrinkled her nose, "You need to get a new line, Logan."

"Hey, that wasn't a line!" He paused again. "I'm sorry. For what I said. I didn't mean it..."

She nodded, no longer smiling, "I understand. You're forgiven."

Surprised that she forgave him so quickly, he decided to push his luck further, "So, what's up?"

She sighed, "I guess it's just weird seeing you with Lola. For me, it's not better off this way. I didn't want you to say that. And I – I don't know. I tried to pretend I was okay with everything but I clearly wasn't."

"Are you okay now?" he asked softly.

She closed her eyes briefly, "For the moment, yes. Overall, I guess I'm not."

He nodded, "I have a confession. I lied when I said that stuff before. I think – I think you're a million times better than Lola."

She stared at him in confusion as he stood up, pulled out his cell phone and called Lola. "Hey," he said smoothly.

"Hi, Logan," Lola replied, "What's up?"

"I'm really sorry, but I don't think this is working out any more..."

"Oh," Lola paused as she thought it over. "It's Dana, isn't it? You like her more than me."

"Well, I – " he looked over at Dana, "I don't know. She needs me, and I guess I need her. I'm sorry?"

Lola sighed, "It's okay. I could sense you weren't really into this, and I think I just forced myself to be into it. I don't know. But I'm not upset."

Logan smiled, "Good."

"Friends?" she asked.

"Sure, of course. I'll talk to you later, yeah?"

"Yup. Bye."

Logan hung up and looked at Dana again. She looked back at him. "What – what did you just do?"

He shrugged, "I'm single." They continued staring at each other, then she stood up and wrapped her arms around him. He returned the embrace, then she kissed him. Something that neither of them thought would ever happen. He kissed her back, and finally she broke it off.

"Are you okay?" he asked carefully.

She smiled, "I'm okay now."

"Are you sure?"

She gave him a stern look, "You really need to listen to me, because I'm telling you the truth. I mean this, I'm okay. Trust me."

He smiled and she smiled back, "Come for a walk?"

She nodded and they left the room, hand in hand.

_I'm not okay, I'm not okay, I'm not okay, you wear me out.._

**AN: That's all. I didn't really want a happy ending, and it's rather crappy, but oh well. Sorry that Logan kinda seems out of character. And, if you're familiar with the song I'm Not Okay, you'll notice I used the lines throughout the story. Yup, don't own those.**


End file.
